So much bad Jewish art, so few forums for mocking it. My fellow Judaicrapper and I plan to provide a forum for collecting and mocking the best (or the worst) of simply awful Judaica.
It all started with a simple request for help. Mutual friends of ours are getting married. As you may know, part of the Jewish wedding ritual involves signing a Jewish wedding contract (Ketubah), which states the couple's obligations to each other. So my fellow Judaicrapper asked me if I could recall where my Ketubah came from. I know I ordered it online. That is all I can remember now.
But I decided to be helpful and see if a quick Google search could yield some leads (I plead the Fifth on whether I found my Ketubah on one of these sites). Almost immediately, I came across this, which can be yours for only $305 (price includes "personalization fee"):
Help, there is a giant yellow squid eating the happy couple! And scary technicolor bubbles. And squid! Apparently this Klimtastrophe of a Ketubah is appropriate for calamari loving Jewish cannibals with incredibly bad taste (and a penchant for ripping off over-commercialized art). Perhaps the ketubah should have been titled "Calamari's Revenge?"
And, dear readers, we cannot deny you the accompanying copy:
Your First Kiss is special, a treasure to be remembered. The Kiss under the Chuppah is sweet with the wine you have drunk and salty with your tears. The Kiss at your first dance is shy. Who is this stranger smiling at me? Who is this old soul I have known forever? The Kiss after you finally find yourselves alone is pure passion. But do not be mistaken. They are all one Kiss. Your souls, your hearts, your eyes, your thoughts, your bodies and your words have been kissing each other ever since the moment you met. The rest of you surrendered to the Endless Kiss a long time ago. When your lips come together, they are sealing the envelope of a beautiful love letter that you are constantly writing to each other.
WHO IS THIS OLD SOUL I HAVE KNOWN FOREVER AND WHY DID HE SIC AN EVIL TREYF SQUID ON MY LEG? Is it because of my salty tears?
For shame, Nishima Kaplan, for shame (but thank you so much for the laugh that inspired a blog). Tomorrow, my fellow Judaicrapper partner in crime will share the story of his long-standing love-mock relationship with Bad Jewish Art.
- Judaicrappette
You can call it "Squidweed". but maybe a Sponge Bob ketubah would catch great with the generation who first had kids who watch it and now for some reason decided its high time for bonding.
ReplyDeleteGreat Idea, and looking forward for updates
BRILLIANT! I am a ketubah artist and am astounded by some of the judaica out there - it either tries to incorporate every iconographic symbol, or tries to imitate fine art in the tackiest ways. i found your blog because i saw that a facebook contact of mine used this particular ketubah for his wedding; i was honestly shocked.
ReplyDeleteI will share the story of his long-standing love-mock relationship with Bad Jewish Art. Ordering a dissertation at
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